The Soliloquies of a Short-Legged Man

Technology is Amazing and Nobody's Happy

2011-04-13T18:31:00.000-07:00

Louis C.K.'s Hilarious won for Best Standup Special over other, more prominent peeps like Ricky Gervais and Daniel Tosh at the 1st Annual Comedy Central Awards show last Saturday. Having never heard of the guy I couldn't help but bootleg it and see how he could possibly be more funny than the previously mentioned funny men.

Highlighted below is a "Hilarious" bit about customers unhappy with their wireless carrier...something I am becoming far too familiar with:

Watch All 61 Ads From Super Bowl XLV In 2 Minutes

2011-02-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

Have a short attention span? Don't we all. No worries...Adweek was kind enough to edit all 61 Super Bowl spots down to just 2 minutes. That's 61 commercials in one commercial break. As Love Connection's host Chuck Woolery would say, "I'll see you in 2 and 2". Watch:

Call Him Names

2010-12-13T11:36:00.001-08:00

Recently, I was watching yet another Heat game (I can't remember exactly which one because Miami games are on so much they're all starting to blend together) and the commentators in the booth were suggesting to the television audience new nicknames for the big three. One suggestion was "The Threeatles". After, one announcer made a good point stating that for one, there were four Beatles so that doesn't work and more importantly that nicknames cannot be forced, they're created naturally. He used Blake Griffin as an example to his point suggesting that the newest human highlight film in the NBA has yet to stake claim to any nickname but in time it'll just come. Well, thanks to me, that time has come. His play is menacing to opponents and his look (and team for that matter) is reminiscent of everyones favorite red-headed step child. He is Hollywood's new "Problem Child".

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Is Mother Nature pulling for Brett Farve's starting streak?

2010-12-12T22:00:00.000-08:00

Small penis photos and shitty play are all Brett Farve has had to offer us thus far this NFL season but it seems that someone or something is still routing for the insufferable number four.

Orbit rips off RollingStone cover.

2010-06-09T23:22:00.001-07:00

If you haven't seen the apparent "King of America's" smile on the RollingStone issue this month that's because it's hiding from you, along with an Orbit's Chewing Gum advertisement. MTV explains, "The cover is a "peel-off" edition that reveals another image of the rapper underneath, donning a black tuxedo jacket and black framed glasses." The "faux" cover is of Jay-Z's typical facade...you know the look, hard-core, cool guy glare, like he's a Boss (...well, technically I guess he is). However, the microscopic copy in the bottom left corner of the "faux" front cover questions Jigga's lack of smiling, asking, "Have you ever seen this man smiling?" The big reveal is when you turn over the camoflauge cover and see Mr. Big Pimpin's pearly whites next to a fold out, 8x10 Orbit's ad. While I find the ad to be extremely clever and well constructed, I hate to see RS sell space on their most dignified spot. The once priceless moment to be "...on the cover of the RollingStone" now instead has a price tag.

Who gives a flying...lizard!?!

2010-05-05T23:41:00.000-07:00

Hey, I got an idea...let's play our next million dollar ad campaign off the fact that some idiotic research group figured out that some people are confused about the Geico gecko's ethnicity. Then once people see our commercial hint at his heritage a hundred times, they'll eventually visit the website for answers, ultimately resulting in purchasing car insurance. Is he a Brit or is he an Azzie, I don't know!?! Damn, the website doesn't say...oh well now that I'm here maybe I'll take 15 minutes to see if I can save 15 percent or more on car insurance.
...I wish the Caveman would just eat that lizard. Now that'd be a good commercial.

New Shoe Tagline Crosses the Line

2010-04-30T17:51:00.001-07:00

This is another tragic case in the ad industry when the creative director failed to tell the copywriter that their "brief was showing". Someone in research decided that the target audience for this shoe's particular demographic happens to like energy drinks. So when it came time for the writer to actually concept some copy either he pulled this out of his brief(s) last minute or every other idea on the table
got shot down. For the writer's sake I hope it's the latter.

Another excuse not to go Android.

2010-04-18T10:05:00.001-07:00

Ever since moving to the Paciic Northwest I've found that AT&T's iPhone coverage doesn't cut it. So the obvious alternative is Google's HTC Incredible, launching April 29. But once again, I've found yet another reason not to go Android. Zipcar. There's no app for that. Google...get it together will ya?

Portland Pup Picture Turned Personality Test

2010-03-28T19:49:00.001-07:00

What is the first thing you notice when viewing the picture above?

A) The dog
or
B) The coffee cup

If you noticed the dog first then you're normal.

If you noticed the coffee cup first then you're anal retentive/OCD.

Just saying.

Maino's 2010 Predictions

2010-01-07T15:35:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite artists has some more predictions for us so...listen up!

Find more videos like this on ThisIs50.com : IF IT'S HOT IT'S HERE!

Funniest Flash Animation Ever?

2009-10-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

My buddy on Facebook shared this flash animation with me today and it could quite possibly be the funniest flash animation ever.

Click the link below to see for yourself:
http://shutupwomangetonmyhorse.com/

Beg to differ? By all means post something better below...

Dear Dave, we miss you!

2009-10-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

Recently Dave did a gig at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles where he jokes about depression advice. Super funny.
Watch below:

Plaxico's pathetic fall from grace

2009-09-24T21:53:00.001-07:00

Two years removed from Super Bowl fame, superstar wide receiver Plaxico Burress turned himself in to serve a two year bid for shooting himself in the leg with an illegel firearm. Ouch! That hurts in more ways than one. While this may be sad news for most NY Giants fans the rest of us find it extremely funny. In fact the jokes just keep on coming. Here's a few good ones I've heard thus far:

1) On the field or in the club, no safety can stop Plaxico Burress.

2) Let's just pray that Plaxico's hands are as good with soap as they were with the football.

3) So apparently the inmates at Rikers are really looking forward to having Plaxico join the team. They know he'll be a great receiver but what they're really looking for is a good tight end.

That's all I got so far kiddies. Please feel free to join in the fun and post more at any time;)

New WWF ad smells like 9/11

2009-09-05T09:36:00.000-07:00

Ad freaks and blog forums alike are all making a stink over this World Wildlife Federation print advertisment (see above). Basically, the ad uses assumptions and bad science to connect global warming with tsunamis, weighing the value of the World Trade Center and other 9/11 victims with tsunami victims, stating more or less that the victims of this most current natural disater caused 100 times more causualities than the death toll of 9/11. The point that WWF is trying to make I guess would be that global warming is caused mainly by humans and the increased intensity of natural disasters, tsunamis specifically, are a direct result of global warming and since people are responsible for global warming then they must take responsibilty for the millions who died from the recent tsunami. But Americans, who in general are more worried about the war on terror (due to 9/11) ignore the fact that they have indirectly killed millions themselves, so in a way we're the bigger, more dangerous terrorists. If their calculations are correct 9/11 terrorist would be threat level RED and we'd be what? Neon RED? You can probably read where I am going with this...both events were horrible. There's no need to draw comparisons and create a visual for unproven statistics in order to illustrate a point. It probably turns more people away. Let's not dwell on the negative and focus more on solutions than pointing fingers and calling names. Besides the brillant Photoshop, I agree with everyone else...this ad is trash.

Rhapsody's got Jay-Z covered

2009-09-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

Rhapsody claims to have no limits and when it comes to this TV spot it shows. Teaming up with Jigga man in honor of his September 11 Blueprint 3 release, Rhapsody takes the viewer through Jay-Z's career as a rap artist, depicting his solo album covers in a very creative way.
Check it out below:

Old Navy mannequins look freaky, fake or not

2009-08-31T20:51:00.000-07:00

I was pursuing through Old Navy the other day (like I said before I'm cheap) and I couldn't help but notice their new mannequin models. Is it me or do they look like the gassed-up Gothem citizens in Tim Burton's original Batman? I don't care how much you can save, Old Navy will never make you that happy. They could seriously cause small children to have nightmares if the little tykes were actually tall enough to take notice. What was wrong with the mannequins before? Did someone high up in Old Navy corporate think that spending milions of dollars remodeling overly fake facial expressions on their mannequins would result in more revenue? I certainly hope not. Or are we (U.S. consumers) really that retarded? Maybe people look at those mannequins and think, "Hey, that could be me...if I get that outfit at that price, I too will be that happy!" I must admit though, I was pretty stoked when I found out I could by my dog a legit raincoat for only $15! Now that I think about it, when I put it on her she looked so cute, I probably made a freakishly happy face. Forget everything I just said. I guess I answered my own questions mid blog...we're the ones who are fake and those mannequins are a true reflection of a culture obsessed with consuming crap.

Skin color is still a topic of disscussion for some

2009-08-25T20:56:00.001-07:00

So I was at GreatClips yesterday (yeah I know...I'm cheap) and besides having the worst barber ever, he also happened to be mute (well not literally...he just had the social skills of a shy 2-year old). Anyway, the uncomfortable silence forced my attention elsewhere which was the balding old man sitting next to me who was getting what little gray hair he had left buzzed off to prepare for his big beach volleyball game coming up. Well, unlike my socially inept, emo barber the guy cutting his hair actually had some conversational skills. He noticed the old man was reading a computer print out of the BBC's front page story on their website. It was a picture of Obama looking mighty stressed with his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose and squinting his eyes in dismay. The barber couldn't help to comment to the older gentlemen that President Obama looked very distraugt. The old man chuckled and made the comment "...ohhh, the BBC is always trying to make Obama look...well, on wits end." The barber agreed halfheartedly then proceeded to point out the fact that the presidency is a tough position, especially in today's economy and that he admires Obama's willingness to work hard for us Americans. The old man paused for a second and quickly upped the ante on the subject, saying more or less, "yeah, I'm suprised...most people are actually giving him more grief over his policies than the color of his skin." The barber, who intially was quite candid about the political conversation was suddenly speechless. The old man continued by asking, "Have you ever met Obama before?" (like it's as common as meeting your next door neighbor or the mailman). The barber said no. So the old man continued on explaining that he had the opportunity to meet the President during his stop in Oregon while on the campaign trail. "It's amazing how much darker he is in person" said the old man. He continued, "I can't explain how they do it but Obama was standing there in front of a jumbo screen which was broadcasting a live feed of himself and I could notice the difference...I think they're using a special lens to lighten his skin for TV or something." At this point the barber acted interested in the old man's observation but at the same time refused to offer anything further to the subject. He remained silent while he finished shaving the back of his neck gave him a quick blow dry and sent him on his way. The conversation ended awkwardly to say the least. What was the point of the old man's observation? Why even bring that up? White people look more pale on camera too and bald people look balder. Sucks right? So what if he's darker in person. He is a black man and he is President. Get used to it.

Lavish corporate culture litters a "Beautiful View"

2009-08-23T19:08:00.001-07:00

Bellevue, Washington has plenty going for it these days. The headquarters of corporate juggernauts such as Microsoft, T-Mobile and Expedia to name a few, have helped turn a town once coined Seattle's "satellite city" into a full blown boomburb in itself, full of mega malls, high-end hotels, fancy restaurant chains and shiny skyscrapers. CNNMoney's list recently rated Bellevue the #1 city to live and launch businesses. There is so much wealth in this city you can almost smell the sizzle of credit card plastic. Simply walk down the street and in mere minutes you're bound to see some type of luxury sports coupe, be it a Lambo, Ferrari or Mazarati whipping around a corner or whizzing through a yellow light. At five sharp, "suits" flood the streets, beelining for the nearest happy hour. Joey's is the spot du jour, where big busted blondes and brunettes are boasted as staff and are your only server options, which is great for us males except for the fact that the autosphere creates a cock fest of colossal proportions. But besides boozing and dining, shopping seems to be the only other avenue for adventure. Louis Vuitton and the like lay in a row, all leading herds of sheepish shoppers to Bellevue Square, where everyone spends top dollar to look different and "express their individuality" only to leave looking exactly like every other Bellevueite. Don't get me wrong, Bellevue has great potential. There are hidden gems of parks, trails and organic, grassroot organizations. The problem is they lie unnoticed and underappreciated underneath the mainstream, white collar rapids of a river which is Bellevue's blue blood. It's amazing to me that a place so close to such a unique city like Seattle can be so superficial. Visiting Bellevue is much like attending a sporting event, home to an overpayed sports team, where all its players go through the motions, playing simply for a paycheck, all while under the bright lights of a brand-spanking new, gorgeous stadium. And all the fans are sitting up high in their box seats, too busy blabbing on a cell phone to even notice that their team is down big and they could care less. If you're really a fan of Bellevue I say you should snap out of it, wake up, stand up and boo.

HBO brightens Sunday

2009-08-01T18:46:00.000-07:00

Watch out Showtime...it's a show down. HBO has brought out the big guns, previewing their summer/fall lineups for many Sundays to come in this hilarious commercial. Watch below:

"Mad men" (and women) vent via Twitter

2009-08-01T18:34:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are lucky enough to still actually have a job in the advertising industry, don't think for a second that you have no reason to bitch because Twitter has just given you one. According to AdFreak, "Bitch, Co. lets you Tweet out your frustrations of agency life, which are then Tweeted out to the world, or at least to the 74 people currently following @BITCHCO." Reading these tweets should be a blast for us freelancers and recent graduates who are still bitter about the lack of opportunity within the industry. Maybe this will be the final justification truly-talented, unemployed professionals need to finally move on to the client side for good. Then agencies and their employees will really have something to cry about.

Hard times make Portland a perfect place for well-educated creatives

2009-07-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

Ceramics artist Heidi Sowa holds up one of her freshly thrown creations at her Portland, Ore., studio. Sowa, 26, is living on unemployment, sleeping in a single room apartment and eating from a refrigerator in the studio she shares with other artists under a bridge ramp in the city's industrial east riverbank. (MSNBC, Sat., July 25, 2009)

It's as if Portland, Or was made for the recession. It's got that big city feel without the big city prices. It's artsy sans the snob and has plenty of interesting people.

And as its reputation continues to grow so does it's cultured population. Thousands of creative, well-educated young adults are flocking to Portland in droves, determined to rally against a recession that is testing everyones affection for this country.

MSNBC reports :

The newcomers, called the "young creatives" by local economists, have helped give Portland the reputation over the past two decades for being one of the hippest cities in the country. They have been lured by the city's brew pubs, bicycle and mass transit culture, access to mountains and seacoast, and a tolerant, off-center way of life.

Even though Oregon has the worst unemployment in the nation next to Detroit, Michigan, Joseph Cortright, chairman of Gov. Ted Kulongoski's council of economic advisers and author in 2005 of a study of young people and American cities, "The Young and Restless in a Knowledge Economy" points out, "It's not as if it's great somewhere else"

Cortright goes on to say that, "the United States soon will face a shortage of well-educated workers....Baby boomers are retiring and the rising percentages of women and college graduates in the work force are leveling off...that will make winners of cities such as Portland that offer creative, entrepreneurial young people..."

In the mean time, creatives are turning to odd and default jobs for work, semi-content in a city that harbors the underemployed and over qualified.

If you tweet it, they will come.

2009-07-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

Dave Chappelle at Pioneer Square

"Don't tell a secret in Portland" Dave Chappelle exclaimed during his impromtu stand-up at 1AM this morning.

Chappelle, with a small portable amplifier and microphone in hand, expected around 200 hundred fans to show up and was pleasantly surprised to see thousands turn out in Portland, Oregon's Pioneer Square.

The quite rumblings of a free Chappelle show rumor began bubbling on Twitter and Facebook around 11AM Wednesday as excited fans questioned it's validity, claiming it, "too good to be true" and "why Oregon...doesn't he know that no black people live there?".

But at 12:53AM Chappelle further proved his humble celebrity status as well as the power of Twitter by actually showing up. Unfortunately, the mob of people kind of prevented Chappelle from doing a proper show but success or not, before leaving, Dave complimented the 4,000+ crowd on their ability to huddle this close together without getting angry.

He even got serious for a second in order to assist the Portland Metro Police and asked the crowd before dispersing to stay safe, then as a force of habit, he joked "Everyone put a rubber on!"

If you slept though this glorious event (as I did) check out this Flickr stream

When hairy met salary

2009-07-14T18:29:00.001-07:00

Boston-based Modernista! employed Lawson Clarke (hairy, naked copywriter above) after redesigning his portfolio site, where he recreated Burt Reynolds' scantily clad, 1972 Cosmo centerfold shot. His "birthday suit" site makeover was created in order to get noticed after being laid off by Arnold and apparently it worked. I think it's safe to say that the transition came naturally.
To read more, click here

The one thing that bothers me about this whole stunt is the fact that a copywriter gets recognition based on a throwback photo shoot instead of his writing skills. Maybe if agencies focused on talent with skills relevant to their title then ads wouldn't suck so hard. Just a thought.

Graffiti goes green

2009-07-12T16:41:00.000-07:00

GreenGraffiti, a business dedicated to eco-friendly advertising, uses a high-pressure water hose to spray "cleaned" messages into the grime on the street.

Most recently, Domino’s logos have been washed into dirty sidewalks in Los Angeles, Philadelphia and New York as part of an ad campaign.

Jenny Fouracre, manager of public relations for Domino’s claims, “It’s never been done by an American company in the U.S. before.”

Besides the obvious sustainable benefits, these ads presented the public with monetary rewards as well. The first 250 people to hunt down the Domino's sidewalk ads and e-mail pictures of themselves with the "GreenGraffiti" to Domino's would receive a $15 gift card.

But let's not be so quick to forget the infamous YouTube fiasco that happened earlier this year with two ex-Domino's employees. Although, Domino's wasn't entirely responsible for the food handling mishaps of the two delinquents, they still employed and put "sex offending" criminals in charge of our food.

Can sustainable ads really clean up Domino's stained image? Or is the delivery a little late?

MJ sighting surfaces on CNN...real or fake?

2009-07-06T15:52:00.000-07:00

As suspected, rumors of a Michael Jackson ghost sighting has already surfaced. Is this Thriller '09 or simply doctored footage? See for yourself below:

Ghost or not, one thing is for sure, Neverland Ranch is destined to become the most infamous, mansion-turned-haunted-museum in American history next to the Winchester Mystery House.

Streets of Blood leaked online

2009-07-05T14:54:00.000-07:00

New movie starring Val Kilmer, Sharon Stone and Curtis Jackson opening in theatres July 13th has been bootlegged and posted online!
Warning...most flicks starring Fifty are garbage but with that said, it's definitely worth the watch when it's FREE! (and unreleased)
To check out the trailer, click here
To download, click here

Download Fifty for FREE!

2009-07-05T13:18:00.000-07:00

Dropping two new mixtapes in a two-week time span, War Angel and Forever King, as a free download on his website thisis50.com, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson is redefining the rap game. While record executives are slashing most artist's marketing budgets in half due to a dwindling music industy and economy, this infamous half dollar rapper doubles up. Not only are his monster, album-quality mixtapes promoting his next solo release, Before I Self Destruct, the free downloads have become lucrative for his website as well, boasting on the home page, "If It's Hot It's Here" and "The #1 Entertainment Blog Community!".
According to RollingStone, "50 is plotting to release one more mixtape before his oft-delayed Before I Self Destruct album comes out in September". 50 also goes on to brag in the RS article that, "War Angel is the best body of work I put out in the mixtape circuit, period."
Like a superhero out to save hip-hop, 50 seems hungrier than ever and even if there's no such thing as a free lunch, his mixtapes help prove that the best things in life truly are free.
To download his new mixtapes free, click here. Also be sure to check out his 90s-music-based Sincerely Southside Part 2, due out sometime in July, plus a G-Unit mixtape is in the works.

New Bridgeport brew debut

2009-06-25T13:03:00.001-07:00

Tasting the new Stumptown Tart

Free samples of BridgePort's newest fruit-infused ale will be poured at their release party today,
Thursday, June 25th, 5 - 8 p.m. BridgePort Brewpub, 1313 N.W. Marshall St.
Brewmaster Karl Ockert's (above) Stumptown Tart Cherry Wheat Ale is a Yamhill County sour cherry infused concoction, described as "...a lightly hopped ale made with BridgePort's Belgian Tripel, an ale aged since January in oak wine casks...created and brewed from German Hallertau hops...a perfect indication that summer has arrived in the Pacific Northwest."
Also, while you're there be sure to meet the brewmaster as well as the lovely bottle model Bernie Dexter, the label's pin-up girl. Oh, and don't forget to pick up your own limited edition 22-ounce bottle (about 750 cases) while party supplies last.

Squarespace promotes 30 iPhones in 30 days giveaway!

2009-06-22T19:40:00.000-07:00

Since June 8th Squarespace has been saying "Thanks" by giving away the new iPhone 3GS to fans in anticipation of the upcoming release of their iPhone app.

There's still time to get yours, simply send a tweet with the #squarespace hashtag and Squarespace will randomly choose 1 winner per day.

Sound too good to be true? Congratweet the winners yourself.

Below is the list of lucky winners thus far:

06/08 Philip Hutchison: @pipwerks
06/09 Colleen Lindsay: @colleenlindsay
06/10 Chris Harvey: @chrishfilms
06/11 Kyle Smith: @fulcan
06/12 Sierra Min: @sierramin
06/13 Amber Karnes: @xmyaimistrue
06/14 Derek Littlefield: @dlittlefield
06/15 Eva Morales-Viñas: @xxitslovexx
06/16 Jason Jones: @jasonmarkjones
06/17 Ben Diaz: @johnnyvirtue
06/18 Sheila Weinberger: @sheilanan
06/19 Ryan Buttrey: @ryanbuttrey
06/20 Branden: @brandroidattack
06/21 Tony Ruiz: @tonyruiz
06/22 Robin: @pensieverobin
06/23 @YOURNAMEHERE

FYI...you need only tweet once to qualify for the duration of the contest.

Advantage goes to unemployed creatives

2009-06-22T19:22:00.000-07:00

CareerBuilder.com is holding a commercial contest, asking on hiremytvad.com,

"Who best to think of a TV advertising idea targeted towards job seekers than job seekers themselves?"

Just shoot a :25 commercial, enter it into the contest by July 3, then watch the Big Game on February 7, 2010 for a chance to see your video!

Grand Prize: $100, 000

1st Prize: $50, 000

So get off your couch and film something.

For official rules, click here

The World turns down the Williamette

2009-06-18T09:59:00.001-07:00

The World, dubbed a "floating condominium", made a short pit stop in Portland this week, showing up in Waterfront Park Tuesday, June 16. With a crew of 270 and residents numbering in around 140, The World seems to bring shoppers everywhere it stops. Nike, Made in Oregon and plenty of other local shops and restaurants have gotten an expected boost in midweek business while the ship has been at bay. The boat boasts two swimming pools, a running track, a variety of restaurants, and other various ammenities, however, it's plain to see that these tourists are anxious to hit land as soon as the cruise ship docks. The World's next destination is Astoria and you may marvel in its departure tonight as it makes its way back towards the Pacific.

When keeping it real goes right: Peter Schiff for Senate... then President?

2009-06-11T16:46:00.000-07:00

Peter Schiff, President of Euro Pacific Capital Inc. and author of Crash Proof, kept it real in an interview on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (watch above),

"...Americans have to go back to a basic economy that grows based on savings, not consumer credit. "

Stewart goes on to remind the audience that this is the same man (Schiff) that warned us (Fox News/MSNBC/Everyone in America) about an upcoming recession back in 2006 (before it happened) and most everyone laughed.

Schiff goes on to say in the interview that Obama is not for change and that if we're (America) headed for a cliff, Obama's not steering in a new direction, he's punching the gas.
He elaborates by saying, companies that received bailouts weren't too big NOT to bailout, they were in fact too big to bailout.

When Stewart asked Schiff for a "silver lining" in regards to America's financial woes, Schiff paused, saying that there may not be one.

But Schiff did go on to say that if Americans want to try and regain a stable economy, we need to, "Deny more bailouts, buy American, support local businesses, and most importantly save $$$...because if we keep borrowing from foreigners our $ will be worth nothing and a consumer economy won't work when our $ doesn't buying anything."

Finally, a man who can actually explain the economic situation in terms everyone can understand.

"Final Destination" folklore becomes for real

2009-06-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

According to the ANSA news agency:

"An Italian woman who arrived to the airport late for the fatal Air France flight 447 has died in a car accident,

Johanna Ganthaler, a pensioner from the Bolzano-Bozen Province (South Tyrol, Italy) and her husband, Kirk, were on vacation in Brazil and missed flight 447 after arriving to the airport late. They were able to board a later flight and avoided being victims of the horrible crash.
The couple rented a car in Munich, Germany and decided to drive home to Italy. On their way home, while driving through Kufstein, Austria, their car ended up in the opposite lane and they had a head on collision with a truck.

The woman died at the hospital that she was taken to. Her husband is still in critical condition."

However, I have yet to find any U.S. papers picking up this story so I wonder, is this a legitimate news article or just a sick PR stunt for the upcoming FD4 movie?

CP+B's new hire, Copywriter Chris Kahle proves tweeting doesn't have to be a waste of time

2009-06-09T17:46:00.000-07:00

Nowadays creatives will do anything to get a job at Crispin Porter + Bogusky

For example:

Chris Kahle on the other hand simply used Twitter.

Below are the sequence of events leading up to Kahle's hiring:

The idea:

The networking:

The buzz:

The tally:

The thanks:

The result:

Read more on Kahle's tweet idea here

Hillsboro suspect is last straw for Craigslist shoppers

2009-06-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

So I got this tweet from a former college classmate of mine openly asking, "OK who still uses Craigslist? Seriously."
At first I was unsure why she would tweet a ridiculous rhetorical question like that until of course I read the front page of today's paper.
Korena Roberts (above) was arraigned today for the now infamous murder of Heather Snively, the 21-year-old pregnant woman from Tigard, OR.
The autopsy revealed that Snively was killed then cut open by Roberts in an attempt to remove the unborn baby from the womb.
Apparently, Roberts was lying to her boyfriend and family members for some time, saying that she was "pregnant with twins".
As it turns out she went from being a big fat liar to a big fat psycho, praying on pregnant women and pretending to peddle cheap baby clothes on Craigslist in an attempt to pluck preemies for her own twisted pleasure.
This is the third high-profile murder case involving Craigslist this year, giving "buyer beware" a whole new meaning to classifieds that were once cutting-edge.
To read more on this story, click here

Jay-Z kills all auto-tune artists single-handedly in new single

2009-06-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

A new Jay-Z track has answered my prayers and put the rap industry's auto-tune obsession on blast.

His chorus claims:

"this is the death of auto-tune...moment of silence"

And when it comes to Jigga lyrics, every artist listens. Thank God.
Or should I say, Thank Hov.

Listen below:

Asher Roth, Kid Cudi and B.o.B. hit the road for Great Hangover Tour

2009-06-05T10:30:00.000-07:00

The three-week, 19-city tour will make stops coast to coast featuring opening acts (at selected cities) from the hip-hop trio Pac Div, and Harlem hip-hopper 88-Keys.
The three freshman rappers are promoting their debut releases, Roth's "Asleep in the Bread Aisle", Cudi's "Man on the Moon: The End of Day," (due August 25), and B.o.B.'s "Adventure's of Booby Ray" (due sometime 2009)
While there are no plans for a Portland show I predict they'll make it up to the Pac Northwest once the other cities sellout and they start to stockpile profits.
Search below to find a show near you:
July 14 Boston, MA House of Blues
July 15 New York, NY Nokia Theatre Times Square
July 16 Mariaville, NY Indian Lookout Country Club
July 17 Cleveland, OH House of Blues
July 18 Royal Oak, MI Royal Oak Music Theatre
July 20 Kansas City, MO VooDoo Lounge
July 21 Denver, CO Ogden Theatre
July 22 Park City, UT Harry O's
July 23 Las Vegas, NV House of Blues
July 24 San Fran, CA Regency Center Ballroom
July 26 Hollywood, CA House of Blues
July 27 Tempe, AZ The Marquee
July 29 Dallas, TX House of Blues
July 30 Austin, TX Stubb's Waller Creek Amphitheater
July 31 Houston, TX House of Blues
August 2 Atlanta, GA The Tabernacle
August 3 Norfolk, VA NorVa
August 4 Baltimore, MD Rams Head Live!
August 5 Washington, DC 9:30 Club
(Dates are subject to change.)

Lil' Wayne shows love for the L.A. Laker's Kobe Bryant

2009-06-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

Those who follow Young Money C.E.O. and rapper, Dwayne Cater aka Lil' Wayne aka Weezy, through radio, TV and magazine interviews already know about his knowledge and passion for all sports. Even Disney affiliate, ESPN has cashed in on Mr. Carter's fame, letting him express his fervor for sports on his own ESPN blog. New Orleans native or not, it's no secret who he's routing for in the Playoffs, predicting in his blog, "Just so no one gets it twisted: The Laker's are winning the Finals".
Immediately after the Laker's pounding of the Orlando Magic last night in the NBA Finals Game 1 and Kobe's 40 point effort (his career high in the playoffs), Weezy dedicated a song to his Basketball idol, posting it online for the world to hear. Definitely a bromance in the making.
Click below to listen:

Nike Trainer 1 knows Bo

2009-06-04T08:20:00.001-07:00

Just in time for some good ol' smash mouth summer camp football, Nike is releasing an '80s inspired Bo Jackson training shoe on July 1.
I just hope that the Oakland Raiders look as good on the field this season as these silver and black shoes will look on my feet.

Nike Trainer 1 | KicksOnFire.com

Oregon teen makes some green in Pretty Ugly market

2009-06-02T17:06:00.000-07:00

To become an entrepreneur in this economy, good grades and degrees don't seem to make much of a difference. What you really need is the internet and an idea.

Pretty Ugly T-shirts

To support this local artist, visit his blog and buy some t-shirts,
go to prettyuglyonline.com

To read more about Elton Sherman, click here

Eminem gets clowned at the VMAs

2009-05-31T21:54:00.000-07:00

The king of prank raps, Eminem proved tonight that he can dish it but obviously cannot take it. After making fun of just about everyone while performing the song "We Made You" on stage, Marshall Mathers became the butt of Sacha Baron Cohen's joke (literally). Shocked and obviously embarASSed, Em stormed out of the building. Some speculate the prank to be a scripted set-up, however, I've seen 8 Mile and Mr. Mather's is not that good of an actor. He was PISSED and it was hilarious!
Check it out:

Find more videos like this on ThisIs50.com : IF IT'S HOT IT'S HERE!

Oregonize your Summer

2009-05-31T18:48:00.000-07:00

Valentine's Day 2009 marked Oregon's 150th anniversary as an official state and to celebrate the sesquicentennial, Port of Portland is sponsoring a competition to "Prove Your Love", challenging vacationers to visit five places in Oregon, covering at least two regions, for the chance to win a Grand Oregon Tour.
First, you must make a Dream List comprised of five locations from four different categories, and again it must be adventurous, so you have to cover at least two regions of the state.
Then you must document your travels, signing up an account and uploading a favorite pic or story per destination. Once completed, you’ll have the option to receive an official certificate from the governor and be eligible to win a Grand Oregon Tour.
And who knows? You may even meet Sasquatch along the way.
Start Oregonizing.

What's up Doc?

2009-05-31T18:18:00.000-07:00

For years hip-hop heads across America have patiently awaited the highly-anticipated debut of Dr. Dre's Detox. Adding fuel to the fire, the album is rumored to be Dre's final solo release as an artist. So here we are ten years later (his last LP, The Chronic 2001, dropped in 1999) and the good Doctor decides to drop his first official Detox teaser in a Dr. Pepper commercial? I don't care how many flavors Dr. Pepper has (23), this album promo is definitely in bad taste.
The TV spot airs June 1, or you can just click below to see it now:)

Click here to read more

Gillette...the biggest a man can get?

2009-05-28T16:07:00.000-07:00

Check out this new Gillette campaign aimed towards the usual suspects, a preDICKtable "manly male" target audience.
This is an absolutely riDICKulous ad (I know I used the same pun twice, I can't help myself) and unless your talking to prePUBEscent teens (there I go again:p) it only states the obvious. Like my pubes are really a factor in my razor decision making. More importantly, no real man goes bald eagle. If Gillette did any valid research at all they'd know that makes us look ten (to both ourselves and our partners). A nice, close buzz cut is really what we're after.

Simple ad shows smarts

2009-05-26T16:28:00.001-07:00

The submissions are in for the YouTube Cannes Young Lions Ad Contest and with only 48 hours, 28 year old youngsters did their best with what little time they had, proving most importantly the power of simplicity. Unfortunately, I missed the deadline, however, I did have time to review a handful of videos and I've cast my vote. It's one of those ideas where you see it and instantly wish you had come up with it yourself. Kudos to this creative kid(s) whoever you are;)
See below:

Vote for your favorite here

Oh, Yappy Day!

2009-05-21T13:13:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, May 9th, The family and I skipped the lustre of sleeping in and headed down to Tom McCall's Waterfront Park in Downtown Portland to attend the Oregon Humane Society's Doggie Dash 2009.
Being a chi-chi owner/avid dog enthusiast plus the fact that this is Portland's most popular event for dog lovers (voted #1 pet event by Spot Magazine readers) I thought that this would be a great way to get some sightseeing, exercise and charity work accomplished all before lunch on a beautiful Saturday. According to Yelp, last year, thousands of people came to Waterfront Park to enjoy the festivities and raise funds for the Oregon Humane Society and 2009 seemed to follow suit.
Generous vendors crammed what products they could in their 5x7 booths, passing out handfuls of various samples pre and post-race to onlookers as leashed canines of all shapes and sizes bulldozed in every which way, sniffing butts and dodging crowds of feet. Demonstration areas, contests and other activities were scattered along the park from Pine St. to the Morrison Bridge, swiveling the heads of both dogs and dog owners, causing most to buzz about chaotically like bees around a hive.
Serious doggie diehards got a running head start at 9 a.m. sharp, but most, including myself, stayed back to binge on the complimentary pancake breakfast 'til 9:15 a.m., then leisurely strolled the course taking in the breathtaking views of the cityscape and bridges arching over the beautiful Williamette.
The exciting new course this year was the bridge-to-bridge, 2.5 mile route using the same starting and ending points as the original 1.5 mile route, but now took the Dashers over the Hawthorne Bridge, down the Eastbank Esplanade, over the Steel Bridge, and back to Waterfront Park.
The "lazy loop", as I like to call it was extremely anticlimatic, consisting of a 1.5 mile course beginning on SW Naito Parkway near Stark St. Underachieving owners and overweight dogs alike proceeded down a traffic-free Naito Parkway to approximately the Hawthorne bridge, then turned around with their sweaty tails between their legs, panting north along the park's riverwall, then returned south again on Naito Parkway.
But regardless of anyone's effort or finish times, we all were winners, helping to raise over $220,000 for the animals at the Oregon Humane Society, making this the most successful Doggie Dash in its 22 year history.
For more pics click here

Portlanders, an outsider's perspective

2009-05-20T14:04:00.000-07:00

Having lived in the Portland area for 2+ months now, I've had the pleasure of getting to know some unique native characteristics both good, bad and even some ugly.
First off, they love their beer. From PBR to a sea of micro-brewed pale ales, Portlanders seem to drown their rain-soaked sorrows best
with a pint or two at local breweries, pubs and dives alike. While their right hand never seems to leave the pint glass, some keep the left hand busy by playing Keno, turning from wishful thinkers to just plain wastoids in a matter of minutes. Not to say that these folks are lightweights. On the contrary, most can drink beer with the best of us and they swill it down fast and furious like a whale swallows sea water full of krill.
Secondly, they smoke...and they smoke...and then they smoke some more. Cigarettes are enjoyed here as often as the lattes, maybe more. When you walk the streets it seems at all times as if every smoker in the city took their cigarette break at once. Whatever direction you look uniformed employees take puffs almost in unison as they stare at the ground, grumbling to themselves or a fellow smoke buddy about the weather, their whacked-out boss or the worthless season the Blazers had. Much like San Francisco, every smoker must constantly dodge beggars who beeline towards them as soon as they show signs they're about to light up. So even for nonsmokers, digging in your pockets, sitting outside or briefly pausing on the sidewalk is a sure signal to vagrants, who'll offer change or whatever they can scrounge that day to barter for a single smoke.
Thirdly, the natives have a strange almost lisp-like accent. Not all, but most true natives have an unmistakable way of speaking. It's almost as if their tongue is swollen and they sound like they just came from the dentist, still numb from the novacaine. Their slurred speech also stutters a bit, spoken with extreme excitability. However, having a conversation with a native is intoxicating, every word out of their mouth is like a warm invitation to dive into a chatty discussion which more than likely will cover anything from politics to public transportation.
Fourth and foremost, they're laid back. The pace up here is amazingly slow. I honestly don't know how anyone gets anything done. Highway speed limits sometimes slow to 35, and people don't even get out of their car to pump their own gas. The job market is so sad that it's mandatory for gas stations to hire "pump attendants" consisting mainly of teens, retirees and convicts, ensuring every lazy, obese Oregonian (and there are plenty of them) that they can remain sitting, even on E.
Don't get it twisted though, I am actually beginning to grow quite fond of Portlanders. I just hope that I can blend in without having to assimilate or lose my unique NorCal flavor;)

Anger Management Tour relapse?

2009-05-19T18:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, MTV reported the possibility of an Eminem and 50 cent summer concert tour a.k.a. Anger Management Tour 4, which makes sense, since both artists are scheduled for third quarter album release dates. But with that said, an official tour headlining both camps hasn't happened since 2005, ending with Eminem checking himself into rehab. I've been to all of the previous three tours and I can tell you first hand that from a general admission perspective, it always makes for an ultimate summer highlight.
The last time, I remember Proof made an effort to go out into the crowd before the Bay Area show (and probably every show for that matter) in the HP Pavilion to shake hands and sign autographs, all by himself, no security, no entourage, nothing. Good dude. That was right before his untimely demise.
The rumor first leaked when G-unit rapper, Lloyd Banks told MTV, "I'm in and out the office, and there's conversations...I'm just as excited as the fans are."
So let's keep our fingers crossed and hope they come through P-town because with the economy the way it is I think just about everybody is in need of some Anger Management.

Wheeler gets no deal for social media gig

2009-05-16T12:43:00.000-07:00

It's funny that the one available writing job in Portland I've found interesting enough to apply for ends up causing controversy.
Seems that some Multnomah County employees don't have enough to complain about already, asking Wheeler, how could he create a $70,000-a-year-position at a time when the county is in the process of significant layoffs, the most since 2001.
Citizens like Melissa Hansen angerily refered to the job in emails to Wheeler as, "non-essential" and "wasteful", while Kelli Matthews, a University of Oregon journalism professor, points out that, "Wheeler's move put him on the cutting edge for local government".
It's sad that even in this day and age of Obama nation, people (in general) are still afraid of change.
Social media whether you like it or not has become the cornerstone of communication, making even dry political matters more accessible and understandable, capturing both the interests and invovlement of younger generations like never before in history.
Wheeler, after posting the job online, mistakingly backed down just three days later, due to overwhelming public outcry, saying "I need to be sensitive."

Mr. Wheeler, I have four things to say to you:
1) You can't please everybody
2) Go with your gut
3) Stop being a sissy
4) Hire Scott Borgen

To read more on this topic, click here

Generation D.I.Y.

2009-05-10T12:32:00.000-07:00

Support "Do-it-Yourselfers" at Crafty Wonderland 2009. 40 venders
selling handmade crafts of everything from soaps to sweatshop free
tees.
It's on the 2nd Sunday of every month at Doug Fir, 830 E.
Burnside in Portland. All ages welcome and admission is free.

Happy Mother's Day, Motherlover!

2009-05-10T10:12:00.001-07:00

Since it's M-Day, I'll keep this post short being that I still haven't finished up my project/present for Mom Dukes.
Below is a must-see sketch from last night's airing of Saturday Night Live. Adam Samberg is pretty much the Justin Timberlake of SNL. He's single-handedly bringing funny back, making late-night TV worth watching once again.
Let's just say that when SNL discovered Mr. Samberg they hit the motherlode.

Wieden + Kennedy MAKE good through art

2009-05-07T09:04:00.000-07:00

A work by Julia Liu, at W+K's Shanghai branch (above)
W+K=MAKE, a Global Agency Art Show is an art exhibition/charity event, raising funds by selling art produced by agency creatives and other global networks within W+K's seven international offices.
One hundred percent of the sales proceeds benefits Room to Read, a nonprofit dedicated to promoting and enabling global education.
The show will be held in the lobby of Wieden+Kennedy, 224 N.W. 13th Ave.; 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday-Friday; until 10 p.m. on First Thursday; closes: May 29.
For more info, read Wieden + Kennedy: Portland's ultimate cultural creator

I am under 28, hear me roar!

2009-05-07T08:32:00.001-07:00

Attention all young creatives. YouTube is holding a contest to (get this) enter a contest...winner goes to Cannes. The YouTube Cannes Young Lions 48 Hour Ad Contest is offering an all-expenses-paid trip to the Cannes Lions 2009 56th International Advertising Festival to represent YouTube in the prestigious Young Lions Contest to anyone, under 28, who can produce an ad spot, on anything from a cell phone to an HD camera, and make the video viral (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, blogs, etc.). The creative brief will be release midnight, May 15. After that, you have 48 hours.

PayPal + Skymall = My First Ad

2009-05-04T16:26:00.000-07:00

While digging through my professional portfolio archives, I came across my very first published advertisement. This was co-written by yours truly, during my internship for eBay back in '07. Not bad for a first timer, eh?

Another cool headline/print flyer I wrote, even before the above ad, but never saw the light of day (it got shot down because the language was too "risky" for PayPal):

Fruitguys Postcards

2009-05-04T15:27:00.000-07:00

Another low-budget wonder of mine were some postcards I wrote and conceptualized for FruitGuys.
Once again, money was less than fruitful, making creative possibilities less than limited, so much so that they couldn't even afford the third concept, even thought they loved it so.
Pick your favorite:

San Francisco 49ers' Ode to Bay Area Olympians

2009-05-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

Speaking of Olympic inspiration, another print ad I conceptualized and wrote while at BE&F was a PR piece for the San Franciso 49ers, saluting all Bay Area Olympians and Paralympians. Please keep in mind a few things: the budget was laughable, the use of Olympic logos, athletes, etc. were not permitted, and last but not least, since this was a full page newspaper ad, grayscale, "vector only" graphics were mandatory.
See below:

JDSU "Rally Cry"

2009-05-04T13:30:00.000-07:00

Last summer, while working for BuderEngel, my art director and partner at the time, Veli Akman, were asked to create both a manifesto and visual solution for JDSU.
The purpose of this campaign was to serve as a "rally cry" (for internal purposes only) aimed to evoke emotional appeal in employees and inspire camaraderie.
After tedious research and some well timed Olympic inspiration, we found out a lot about JDSU and their 4 very different business sectors. More importantly, we discovered an idea both tangible and relevant that linked every business segment/employee under the JDSU umbrella.
Below is what we came up with:

Eminem is back sans blonde hair

2009-05-03T14:00:00.000-07:00

Journalist and alleged Eminem fan, Sarah Rodman, questions Slim Shady's comeback in a recent Boston Globe article, asking if Em's moment is lost and other nonsensical, off topic, left-field things like, "Is it possible that the polarizing hip-hop star waited too long to reemerge? That a country fragmented by politics, crisis, and technology can no longer rally around one controversial figure?"
You know what, she's probably on to something. I mean who could possibly support an artist (e.g. buy a CD or attend a concert) when there's a black president, pig flu is flying about, and the internet provides information overload?
Hip-hop fan or not, who doesn't like a comeback? Did Ms. Rodman even bother to research the reason for Mr. Mather's falling off the radar in the first place? (i.e. Death of his best friend and mentor, Proof, wanting to spend more time with his kids, prescription drug addiction, etc., etc.)

Someone in Boston, please slap his chick.

Local Portland business pokes fun at pig flu precautions

2009-04-30T15:26:00.000-07:00

Nob Hill Bar & Grill found time to add sarcasm to their menu. The three little piggy statues, which lay prominently out front, playfully roast the panic stricken subject du Jour which is Swine flu.
Swine Influenza is obviously a serious issue, however, it pales in comparison to many other more threatening worldly issues, often ignored in the daily news.
So I ask, is Swine flu something we need to be truly scared about? Or is this just another distraction blown out of proportion by the Big Bad Wolf?

Do You Have Swine Flu? Click here

Asher's album marketing generates buzz

2009-04-22T15:57:00.001-07:00

White boy rapper, Asher Roth targets internet abusers for his new LP, Asleep in the Bread Aisle. Will cheap internet interactivity help him claim the title of iTunes champ of the week?
Play below:

Great music sells records, ad gimmicks aimed at geeks...not so much. Unfortunately, I've heard the album and this "all play and no work attitude" makes Asher a dull boy.

Unemployment ballooning

2009-04-20T21:29:00.001-07:00

Not to pick on Portland, but this pic is of a man in Pioneer Plaza, taken today by yours truly. Seems that people are getting more creative or clueless depending on who you're talking to about how to find a career (or even a job for that matter) in the current economic climate.
Is this a final act of desperation from a man on the limb of losing everything or just a silly stunt/smart move by the future CEO of ___________(fill in the blank)?

Readers, rain or shine

2009-04-15T16:58:00.000-07:00

According to John W. Miller, President of Central Connecticut State University, Portland just makes the cut in the Top 10 of America's Most Literate Cities of 2008.

Skeptics would pull a Milli Vanilli and blame it on the rain, however, Gabriel Boehmer, popular local author of the new book, City of Readers: A Book Lover's Guide to Portland, claims it's a combination or cluster if you will, of various creative people, places and public spaces that blossomed in the City of Roses.

Last week, I attended the Central Library's Brown Bag Lunch and Learn Series, where Boehmer discused everything from Portland's love affair with books to the plethora of area bookstores, libraries, literary landmarks and authors.

For one reason or another, most likely the collegiate sweatshirt I was wearing, Mr. Boehmer seemed to take a liking to me almost instantaneously, asking me various questions about my background and education. Once he discovered I was in fact new to the city, he insisted on my "voluntary" services, asking, "Hey Mr. UC Davis, can you read?" Sarcastically, I responded, "Why yes, I think so."

He proceeded to hand me a book of old poems and instructed me to rehearse Samuel L. Simpson's Beautiful Willamette, in front of the entire class of brown-baggers.

So I read:

BEAUTIFUL WILLAMETTE

From the Cascades’ frozen gorges,
Leaping like a child at play,
Winding, widening through the valley,
Bright Willamette glides away;
Onward ever,
Lovely river,
Softly calling to the sea,
Time, that scars us,
Maims and mars us,
Leaves no track or trench of thee.

Spring’s green witchery is weaving
Braid and border for thy side;
Grace forever haunts thy journey,
Beauty dimples on thy tide;
Through the purple gates of morning
Now thy roseate ripples dance,
Golden then, when day, departing,
On thy waters trails his lance.
Waltzing, flashing,
Tinkling, splashing,
Limpid, volatile, and free—
Always hurried
To be buried
In the bitter, moon-mad sea.

In thy crystal deeps inverted
Swings a picture of the sky,
Like those wavering hopes of Aidenn,
Dimly in our dreams that lie;
Clouded often, drowned in turmoil,
Faint and lovely, far away—
Wreathing sunshine on the morrow,
Breathing fragrance round to-day.
Love would wander
Here and ponder.
Hither poetry would dream;
Life’s old questions,
Sad suggetions,
Whence and whither? throng thy stream.

On the roaring waste of ocean
Shall thy scattered waves be tossed,
‘Mid thy surge’s rhythmic thunder
Shall thy silver tongues be lost.
Of thy glimmering rush of gladness
Mocks this turbid life of mine!
Racing to the wild Forever
Down the sloping paths of Time.
Onward ever,
Lovely River,
Softly calling to the sea;
Time that scars us,
Maims and mars us,
Leaves no track or trench on thee.

Apparently, if I remember correctly, Boehmer stated afterwords, "Every 5th grader in the entire city of Portland used to be required to memorize this very poem".

Well, Mr. Boehmer, I've officially been schooled. Thanks!

Hunter S. Thompson goes poster

2009-04-12T21:01:00.000-07:00

A friend of a friend shared this link with some funny motivational posters of the Late, Great Godfather of Gonzo. Please copy, print and spread the knowledge.

West hears South Park loud and clear

2009-04-09T21:07:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I posted on my blog that Kanye West was going to get clowned on South Park (or at least I had hoped).

Ironically, I wrote, "You're never officially a royal douche-bag until our good friends at South Park say so and hopefully this Wednesday, they give Kanye West the crown."

And sure enough they did. But that's not what's ironic.

Today Kanye "Gay Fish" West released this statement on his blog:
"SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT’S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF “I TOLD YOU SO!!!” IT’S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU’RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE’S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I’M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I’M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I’M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I’M SURE THERE’S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS… THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW IT’S ME!"

He actually mentioned his own douchyness! Kanye are you reading my mind or just my blog?

In case you missed this instant classic, click the link below:
http://www.thisis50.com/profiles/blogs/kanye-gay-fish-west-gets-owned

Or listen to the South Park Love Lockdown, mock-down:

JOHNSON’S® Baby Bubble Bath & Wash Online Campaign

2009-04-08T14:48:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd share another cool campaign I wrote and helped concept for while freelancing at Creative B'stro in SF.
This product was fun to concept around, basically, it's the first bubble bath product safe enough for baby girls and boys to use everyday (meaning no risk of UTI...but of course JOHNSON'S® didn't want to mention that cute little fact).
Click the images below to see what Creative B'stro and I came up with:

NEC Dynamic Infrastructure Online Campaign

2009-04-07T16:49:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was freelancing for Creative B'stro in San Francisco and I helped them develop an online campaign for NEC's Dynamic IT Infrastructure. Very dry, techy stuff but we made some good creative out of it nonetheless.

Challenge
NEC’s ITPG group has low market visibility – enterprise prospects and clients are unaware that NEC is a major IT infrastructure vendor

Objective
a) Reveal the breadth and depth of NEC’s IT infrastructure offerings
b) Present this offering as a unified solution via the term “Dynamic IT Infrastructure”
c) Pique the interest of IT professionals – drive to NEC online – open dialog

Strategic Approach
• Connect with IT professionals in an engaging and edgy manner
• Relate to their primary need to be efficient (maximize resources and lower long term costs) by highlighting NEC’s key benefits:
i) Green – conservation of power, space and human resources
ii) Scalable/Flexible – leverage current assets to meet future needs
iii) Resilient – minimize costly down time and data loss
• Introduce a unified IT solution

Click images below to see what the Creative B'stro team and I came up with:

Relapse or E Overdose?

2009-04-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

Eminem - New Music - More Music Videos

Yet another parody music video from Marshall Mathers. The song, We Made You, off his new album, Relapse, is not so buzz worthy (probably because I can barely understand anything coming out of his mouth) but the video is definitely amusing. One thing you have to give him credit for though, every time this guy drops an album he cleans out all the garbage stinking up the music industry. I just hope the rest of the album has a bit more substance.

Wake up Mr. West!

2009-04-06T18:50:00.000-07:00

You're never officially a royal douche-bag until our good friends at South Park say so and hopefully this Wednesday, they give Kanye West the crown.

Don't get me wrong, I've always been a big fan of The Louis Vuitton Don, but as of late his ego has finally grown big enough to out shine his superstar skills.

808's and HeartBreaks is quite possibly the worst platinum selling, Hip-hop album of all time and anyone who bought (or even downloaded it for that matter) is simply a sheep. Not only is he an awful singer, the man can't even carry an auto-tune.

Here's a sneak peek:

If you can't buy in, join in!

2009-04-06T12:10:00.000-07:00

While Portland's Spring Beer & Wine Fest has never been known to break the bank, in these economic times, paying to taste fine brews and wine might just be the last thing on the average Oregonian's mind.

Admission is free from noon-2p.m. on both days, Friday, April 10 and Saturday, April 11, however, that's hardly enough time to taste and partake in all the event has to offer:

Hop aboard the Tour de Cheese
Mingle with artisan brewers, vintners, distillers & cheese makers
Nibble on tasty gourmet delights
Get schooled at the Chefs Stage - and eat your homework
Groove to tunes from hot NW bands

All day admission is only $5 but in order to taste you must buy both a glass (minimum $5 for a plastic beer mug or wine glass) and sampling tokens at a buck apiece. Packages run for $20/person, which includes 1 admission, 1 wine or plastic mug, and 10 tokens, which if added up, is no better deal.

But being that this is the 15th annual/largest sampling related springtime event in the nation, I don't think you can afford not to go.

So for all you short-changed, sip-thirsty, Stumptown sloshers, I have a solution, VOLUNTEER!
In addition to having fun on the job, volunteers get two full days free admission, a souvenir glass, plus a free t-shirt, all for just four hours of work. I know what your thinking, who in their right mind can turn down a good ole fashioned alcohol-associated tee? I know I can't, and I won't. See ya there, Saturday from 7:30-11p.m.

Mt. Hood goes mobile

2009-04-04T10:00:00.000-07:00

Already known for its year-a-round ski slopes and camps, this May, Timberline will add yet another one-of-a-kind amenity.

Resembling a short-legged version of Johnny 5, the charismatic '80's robot in the movie, Short Circuit, the new portable 730-T tow lift, widely used in Europe, will be making its American debut this May at the Windell's Snowboard Camp.

The Oregonian reports, "The lift's portability makes it important during the summer ski and snowboard season on Mount Hood because it can be dismantled each day and moved to the best snow or halfpipe and be ready in the morning."

The Timberline Lodge, noted in film for serving as the exterior of the Overlook Hotel in The Shining, now gives a whole new meaning to the term, "Here's Johnny!"

UO looks to boost ego, ruffles many a feather

2009-04-02T10:10:00.000-07:00

Falling enrollment rates coupled with the Duck faculty failing to keep students ahead of the curve, the University of Oregon has lost their rank as the largest University in Oregon.
Flailing their wings to stay above water, UO is attempting to migrate north, where the jobs, population, pre- and post-grad employment opportunities are more plentiful.
Now as the White Stag building’s main tenant, at 70 N.W. Couch St., the university wants to change Portland's beloved Made in Oregon sign to say “University of Oregon”.
Public outcry and the fact that university President Dave Frohnmayer has refused to negotiate has brought many to believe that the only solution is to have the city condemn the sign in order to save the integrity of this historic landmark.
I however, have a better solution. One that both boasts the easily recognizable UO logo, and maintains everything you loved about the original.
Please excuse the crude Photoshop'd design:)

Hugh Jackman jacked!

2009-04-02T08:54:00.000-07:00

Dubbed an April Fool's Day prank, at Fox's expense, X-Men Origins: Wolverine has leaked online exactly one month before its May 1 release date.
However, FOX somewhat discounts the pirated, mega-pic claiming, "...the copy is missing many special effects and included temporary sound and music."
Oh, but don't fret, our fear mongering friends at FOX have summoned the all-knowing F.B.I. and the Motion Picture Association of America to investigate the film’s premature eJackulation.
See here

Funny or die

2009-04-01T15:42:00.000-07:00

Apparently, that's the new concept behind the Planned Parenthood Teen Outreach campaign.

Clever yes, creative maybe, crude...definitely.

Fools need not apply

2009-04-01T11:57:00.001-07:00

Alright all you creative Portlandites, it's time to get a job!
And no, this is not another cruel April Fool's wise crack.
Industry professionals give A+ tips on how to grab gigs from advertising to anything else cool.
So put your creative hats on (and maybe a poncho too).

RIP Shawn Wooster

2009-03-31T10:20:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, April 1st - The Oregonian's front page headline/story revealed that Prescription drugs top Oregon's overdose rate. Unfortunately, I know this sobering statistic all too well as I have recently lost a very close friend of mine due to an oxycodone overdose. Of course, besides Shawn himself, there are plenty to blame for his death and the fate of so many others. But I will not go into that (at least for now).
Instead I will share a poem I wrote, inspired from a favorite song of mine:

Dear Wooster, I really do miss thee
For we stayed tight like denim jeans and white tees
Aston court, instead of HORSE, we played A-Z
Remember you always without a t-shirt
Steady puffin’ purp, that’s no secret
Gimmie 50 years, shit I might just see you again
A couple birds and some peach blunts and herb
We’ll be reunited and it’ll feel so good
Have the afterlife screaming “Damn you two are still so hood”
Well we’ve done this since ’98 summer, newcomers
Never a half baked bummer, we know how we do summer
We blazed heat, way before sun up
The kush made us act up and pick the dice up
Roll and back up, winner paid for supper
Always talkin’ shit, then you’d flip the script and hug us
Never sorry, you were constantly saying memorable quotes
Always making friends the butt of your jokes
But let’s not stray from the meaning of your ways,
To show love, but now you’ve gone away
I say if you loved him, his words never made you rage
Cause fuck it, your comeback would never be as good as his anyway
It’s killin’ my heart that your need to depart succeeded
However there’s no friction, I forgive you for your addiction
Anyone who ever sold you that shit is gonna get their ass kicked
Like you bro, I’ll be thuggin’ ‘til the casket dips
Please stay around to shine down on all us still here
Even if some turn weird, or queer, I still want you to share
All the prayers you received, I admit it’s hard to believe
But I still need you and your blessings to succeed
You were like another brother, straight family
I know this sounds lame, but I’m not ashamed to love you the same
We’d text each other lines from hit records
You’d quote words and direct ‘em directly at me, for that I give you mad respect kid
Most never wanted it with Woo, and for the record
He sonned a couple clowns fo’ sho, like they were his next of kin
Always experimenting with the danger zone
You’d make me stay up with you ‘til the birds sang a song
When I was hungry for food, you’d cut up a filet mignon
Feed me ‘til I said when and always offer’d a place to spend
But on a somber note, you’re gone on a long vaca’
In my tears I soak, goddamn you motherfuckin’ rode
At least now you’re out the hood, and I pray that you’ll be forever good
But everyday I think of what I could…
Those thoughts petrify like wood, so I play it straight to stay lucky
Damn, I miss your pass from the dutchie, but I’ll see you again, trust me
No one can touch thee
Always in a good mood, you had a good groove
And don’t trip I’ll never fuck my thang up
Watch your boy stack green bucks, get all cleaned up
Write our story, non-fiction, sell it, get filthy and
All our boys will live happily, believe in HCT, no religion

Damn is that a doughnut? Part Dough.

2009-03-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

A magical smell cast a spell on me while I was making my rounds through downtown Stumptown this morning.

Voodoo Doughnuts on SW 3rd definitely plays their part in keeping Portland weird.

Remember as a kid, soaking your sizzling bacon or sausage in your pancakey syrup remains? Well, if you're anything like me and you still haven't quite grown out of that phase then this place should be your new sugary breakfast spot du jour.

Try a maple doughnut with yes, bacon on top or if you want to get even more juvenile with it, try Cap'n Crunch or Fruit Loops as your topping o' choice.

For a more grown-up, sexually stimulating snack, word is you can special order a phallic-shaped cream filled doughnut. Yummy!

Tax payers pony up $17,000 over short legs

2009-03-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

A fellow short-legged Shetland pony friend of mine has caused passers-by in southern England to call local firefighters out to rescue the 73cm-tall pony four times, just in the past week.

The pony, nicknamed "Shorty", simply grazes on the marshland everyday where she lives, yet people still don't seem to believe they're eyes.

Apparently, the pony's legs are so small that passers-by have thought the animal was stuck knee-deep in mud and in distress.

This has cost local taxpayers a grand total of $17,000 thus far.

One animal rescue expert admits, "From 200 yards away it does look like the pony is trapped in mud, especially when it is stood next to New Forest Ponies which are about twice as tall."

The owner of the pony, whose real name is Mayflower, is considering putting a sign near it to tell people there is nothing wrong.

To put this into perspective, the UK government puts the average cost of a fire crew attending a false alarm at $4200.

Read full article here.

Shorty Wanna Be A... Top Forbes’s Billionaire?

2009-03-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

Wanted Mexican drug lord of the powerful Sinaloa cartel and one of the biggest suppliers of cocaine to the U.S., Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman Loera, whose nickname means Shorty, earned the 701st spot on Forbes magazine’s 2009 World’s “Self-Made” Billionaires report with an estimated fortune of $1 billion.

The sad irony is that the U.S. government is offering a $5 million reward for the billionaire's capture. So, in other words, any one who knows Shorty’s whereabouts is probably collecting more from “Shorty” than our struggling economy can afford.

How Forbes gets away with giving this guy honorable mention besides the likes of Bill Gates and banking investor Warren Buffett is beyond me.

More on that here:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/americas/03/13/mexico.forbes.list/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

Hot, Flat and Heavy Subject Matter

2009-03-11T14:27:00.000-07:00

On Monday, March 9, I attended a free lecture by the world-renowned author and New York Times columnist, Thomas Friedman.

Hundreds packed in PSU's gym, while hundreds more waited outside (under snowy skies) to hear the new inconvenient truth about America's shortcomings.

According to Friedman, the world is Hot, Flat and Crowded. And while this may not be new news to most educated individuals out there, the state of urgency and dire state of the planet have been grossly underestimated.

Friedman goes on to say that in a conversation with Former Vice President Al Gore, he jokingly suggested to the VP that he should "...issue the public an apology, for reasons being that he (Gore) has greatly underestimated the rate at which the climate is changing and the actual impact it will have on the planet".

Although Freidman's lecture was a bit on the we're-all-fd-in-the-a side, he did leave the masses with some optimistic messages. He insists that America must and will be the founder and world-leader in what he refers to as Energy Technology. He claims that ET will not only be the new IT, it will be the next industrial revolution.

On a side note, he told a funny story about an Iranian he met in his travels while writing his book. The man had remarked to him, "Thomas, I know now why you are so optimistic...it is because you're short and to you the glass is always half full, becuase that is the only half you can see."

The Soliloquies of a Short-Legged... Oregonian?

2009-03-11T13:06:00.000-07:00

That's right folks. My Frisco infotainment of a blog was a flash-in-the-pan.
But don't fret. I've relocated my rad self to the rain soaked streets of Rose City, (that's Portland for all you geographically challenged short-steppers).

Stay tuned for a steady flow of micro brewed, bohemian rants and rave reviews.

Damn is that a donut?

2009-02-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

Attention to all my glazy-eyed, green-thumbed friends everywhere!
Feast your eyes on this:

In today's economy mom-n-pop spots need more than just smarts to stick around, they need balls.

And Bob's Donuts in San Francisco may just have the biggest doNUTS in town.

The Best-Case Reading Material

2009-02-19T18:54:00.000-08:00

Of all the obnoxious school-bus-yellow “how-to” guides out there, none are as life-changing as The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook.

Survival experts provide illustrated, step-by-step instructions, cliff-note style on everything from escaping bear attacks to delivering babies in a taxicab!

Life has its ups and downs but some turns for the worse are at higher altitudes. And now there’s an answer for surviving life’s most unexpected predicaments, giving you what you need to know, NOW.

Catch a glance of Lance

2009-02-15T13:00:00.000-08:00

Monday, February 16 8:30 a.m.

No this is not the exact birth date of Honest Abe or Good Ol' George.

But thanks to those presidential predecessors, most Bay Area bicycle enthusiasts will have a chance to see Lance (Armstrong that is) on the final day of this fabulous 3-day weekend in February.

Armstrong & friends will start Stage 2 of their Tour de California in Sausalito, and will ride across the Golden Gate Bridge and pedal through the streets of San Francisco. Their route then heads west down the California coastline to finish in Santa Cruz.

"The largest cycling event in America, the Amgen Tour of California is a Tour de France-style cycling road race. Building on last year’s third-annual stage race, which attracted 1.6 million spectators, the 2009 Amgen Tour of California will be expanded to cover more than 750 miles over nine days from February 14-22, 2009."

Thank God that this is not for the Bay to Breakers otherwise you might catch your boy bottoms up...

Superman falls short to fellow 5-footer

2009-02-14T22:16:00.000-08:00

Forget Skee-Lo. Now even ballers wish they were a little less taller.

Get your 15 minutes of Drunk Dial fame...

2009-02-14T20:56:00.000-08:00

Drunk Dial ASHER ROTH and be FEATURED on His Album!!!

Thu 10:35am
Drunk Dial ASHER ROTH @ 215.687.4462

Also your message will be featured on his myspace and @ www.thedailykush.com

When keepin’ it real goes right. (1st Edition)

2009-02-11T15:06:00.000-08:00

The Hypocrisy of Hip-Hop.

These days, the quickest way to be recognized as a reputable rapper is simple – get a rap sheet.

But still, most hip-hop music is a mirage.

Wasteful words, filled with fake facades.

To be successful, you must be real.
To be real, you must do wrong.
Doing wrong gives you real content.
Real content makes you successful.
But to stay successful, you must reinvent real content without doing real wrong.
So you must pretend to do wrong, to stay “real”.

That is the Hypocrisy of Hip-Hop.

It’s time for fans of hip hop to judge one not by the content in their music, but by the quality of their content.

Asher Roth proves you don’t have to be a rap sheet rapper to be a success. Just rap about what’s real to you.

You follow? If so, here’s a breath of fresh air:

Pregnant Ladies! I’ve got a role model for you.

2009-02-10T18:08:00.000-08:00

Preggers M.I.A. is due major props for her due date performance.
No belly on the corner has swagga like this...

BTW - Paper Planes is the sickest song of the year, hands down.

What music made you?

2009-02-06T14:25:00.000-08:00

As incredibly lame as the Grammy Awards are every year (all tinsel, no talent) it's nice to see that at least they’re making an actual effort to become relevant again.
The evidence is in the ad campaign.

The theme this year is “Celebrate the Music That Made Us”. This campaign does what most do not, it makes you think and most importantly cognitively interact with the ad. So if you're anything like me, I'm sure you're now wondering, what music made you? Something I’ll have to ponder myself as well…

What’s that smell? (1st Edition)

2009-02-06T11:21:00.000-08:00

Pepperoni is dead. Red potatoes are the new red hot pizza topping.

The prayers of little piggies everywhere have been answered. No longer are the drunken masses of the out-past-two-in-the-morning crowd craving that cliché of a pizza pie we call pepperoni. Our new round-shaped red friend is in the form of a spud.

Call out: MR . PESTATO HEAD or YOU SAY POTATO in my presence and you can call me hungry.

So the next time you big bad wolves make it out of your cave, don’t go blowing down brick ovens for the same old piggy. Go hunt for that other little red rider. Just make sure you don’t go home to grandma with that breath.

Speaking of V-Day...

2009-02-05T16:01:00.000-08:00

I found this funny TV spot promoting an "Adult's Only" V-Day at the Wellington zoo.

Warning. If you're around easily offended ears, put headphones on!

p.s. I'm an ad man. So get used to the brand soaked blog posts:)

Valentine's Day is scarier than usual this year.

2009-02-05T15:07:00.001-08:00

Both Friday the 13th and February the 14th have instilled fear in the minds of millions ever since, oh I'd say, the beginning.

Just so happens that this year these dates of darling and destruction have landed back-to-back.
So what's a person supposed to do during such tumultuous times?
One word - consolidate.

Dinner and a movie? Maybe. But why not do something even more scary and sweet.

The Winchester Mystery House is a great idea to thrill two days with one stone. Their first special Flash Light Tour of 2009 kicks off that weekend. What better way to get your significant other, significantly spooked all while seeming like a sweetheart for planning such an unlikely liaison?

And don't think for a single minute that I forgot about you singles out there.

Please for me, the taken one, attend The Largest Valentines Day Singles Party in SF. The first 20 peeps get in free!